my-identity

My Identity – II

Meditators were not allowed to talk except with the teacher and were isolated from the outside world. As days passed, this helped me increase my concentration and I started to feel heartbeat, pulses and subtle vibrations in my body. These were much more pleasant feelings but still, I didn’t generate any feelings of comfort. Instead, kept my neutrality intact and went on scanning my body part by part.

The meditation course finally ended on the tenth day and I returned to my everyday life. In those ten days, constantly watching my own body objectively taught me more about life than any book would have. By not reacting to the pain in my leg, I chose not to suffer, not to accept the disappointment. By not reacting to the pleasant vibrations, I chose not to crave for good things in life, not to be greedy. By having an objective perception, I chose to see things just as they are not as the way I wanted them to be. I learned that this world only existed as my mind envisioned it.

With continued practice of Vipassana, my mind automatically started to conceive things and events objectively. Once when my mother scolded me for not doing household chores, I didn’t get angry as I used to. But, instead tried to understand her anger and accepted my fault. During my volunteer works with Rotaract Club, I started to work altruistically. I gave a flood victim some blankets without expecting appreciation for my work, volunteered in a blood donation camp without expecting to receive a certificate. Before, I used to volunteer with the expectation of some accolade or respect. But, now after practicing Vipassana, I do volunteering in its true sense.

Vipassana changed me spiritually. However, it’s not just a ritual that I perform every day but it’s the way I think, see, speak, hear and live. Describing Vipassana is describing my identity.

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